somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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