is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
