You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
