dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
