I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
