I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
