Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
