Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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