May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
