TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
