Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
