ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
