First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Randomize
