i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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