Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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