One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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