Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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