problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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