Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
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That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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