I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
