Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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