Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize