goodnight i made you a song goodbye
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
