I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
