Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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