big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
