Heybabeimwearingurpanties
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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