you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
