More tranny stories later!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
