Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
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I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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