I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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