Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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