I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
