Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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