They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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