Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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