Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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