oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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