I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
