found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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