i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
