there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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