I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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