I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
In America we eat man semen.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
