he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
