yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
