Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
