I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Barsexuality is the new black.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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