Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
did you just send me my own nude
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
