yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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