Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
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the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
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Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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