I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
