how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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