They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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