You smell like stripper and shame
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
