btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize