i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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