My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
