my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
